I shouldn’t probably have said ‘FPed’. Yeah. That’s not a very cool phonetic sound. Uhh! Now I got to rate this post A (for adult)… or at least PG (Parental Guidance). ‘Peed’… uh-oh.
What I really mean was ‘Freshly Pressed’. Getting Freshly Pressed. Dearies who won’t catch WordPress Jargon, Freshly Pressed is that WordPress window where the top blogs of the day get their own box and that’s what every blogger aims for. It’s like our own personal hall of fame, only you can check it out by going to WordPress’ homepage. But do stick to this one too.
Now to the story behind the title- ‘Getting FPed’. (Or should it be Being FPed? Totally need practice for that IELTS Test!)
A reader dropped by this site recently. I can’t give you his name but he goes by ‘Lightning Pen’. And you should realise that I’m deducing he’s a he, by the words he used and all, I don’t know for sure. If you are reading Lightning Pen, who won’t also put up a picture for the mystery of it which is so fun by the way, please come to our rescue, eh?
So, with this reader what happened, I sent, as usual, a message being thankful for the follow and asking how he had found my blog. Yeah, that’s what I do. I like to know.
And this is what he said-
Freshly Pressed is where I saw and enjoyed your blog, just so you know! They post all the top blog’s there continuously all day long! Didn’t mean to bother you, just thought you were talented…
I swear I read the entire comment. AND I replied. But wait a second! Wait a holy hour! FRESHLY PRESSED!!! Are you freaking serious?! Already? I got it! I did?! I am the queen of the wor- No wait, scratch that. That’s too common…. umm… yes. I’m the blogmaster of the blogs!!!
Don’t worry, the delusions don’t last very long. And this one was particularly fast to burst. The higher you go, the harder you fall, wasn’t it?
Because this was the trouble. I never saw myself at FP. And I am a diligent checker. I am, because I always hoped to be surprised by seeing Address Isn’t Available! on FP before the surprise of the messages and likes on the blog.
So yes, like a mad dog, I checked through the past archives of FP, HOPING that I was wrong. But WordPress put up with the rave only through three pages and then astutely stopped me from going back through the reel any more.
But the harm was done. The idea was in. And the dreams had begun.
To be Freshly Pressed… already… just now… as yet… wowww…
And this is what I have in mind, to do when I am Freshly Pressed. Notice there is no if … my ego gets larger every day, and I blame it on the blogging. It’s just so mystical. Anyway, What I’d Do-
- OVERKILL: I’m sure you already know how much I can get carried away, specially with saying saying- Thanks. So this is what I’ll do. I’ll write a blog with a Youtube video of Queen’s We Are The Champions with a triumphant picture of mine which, as I found on Google, would be strikingly similar to this-
We are the champions my friends! We’ll keep on fighting till the end! ….Cause we are the champions! No time for losers!
- And then, I would click dozens and dozens of pictures of the window that has my blog on Freshly Pressed. And I’ll frame some and I’ll email some, to my friends and specially to my rivals. “Oh, you got that mail? That’s weird. I didn’t send it to you… a glitch probably. Yeah… that was my blog. No, no big deal! I knew I was going to be Freshly Pressed anyway…”
- Then I’ll send nice long letter praising the hair, the eyes, the wisdom and the beautiful beautiful taste of the person who put me there.
- Then I’ll casually drop the word in at school, and have everyone rave and o awe-eyed at me. That would settle the viewership tally from then on.
- Then I’ll throw a party and drink a lot of apple juice pretending that it’s champagne and dance and dance and dance.
- AND THEN, I would log back in. And sit at the computer for HOURS just watching the blog slowly tick lower and lower on the Freshly Pressed page as new blogs made it there, until I would have to go back in the archives to see it. And then I’ll go back in the archives and see…
Alas, sweet alas. For all of that though, I would first HAVE to be Freshly Pressed.
Yup. Yet another one of those times when I only just hear about a competition/ project/ etc and start dreaming having won it. Like that time when I sent my entries for a tagline to Delhi. Sigh. If dreams were true, I would now be some thousand rupees rich and a small celebrity.
Won’t it be ironical if I got Freshly Pressed for THIS post, say?! Are you listening, apostles-who-answer-prayers from the WordPress offices? That would be something right? Remember the long letter! I’ll make it public! I’ll send it to the press!