Wish I Was A Moron

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Fiction, again, because I find I express myself better that way. And if you like it, could you spread the word a little around? Page-view stats have been a weeny bit too disappointing lately.

“Seriously! Morons get it too easy! At least the world leaves them alone! No one passes judgement on them, whatever stupid thing they may do! It’s the THINKERS who get all the fireworks!” Robin screamed. The frustration had been mounting all that week, and it was only obvious that a burst was coming.

“C’mon Rob! Morons? Like there’s a class for them separately-”

“Oh cut the crap! I don’t want all of that Generalization stuff. Yes, it shouldn’t happen. But it does! And it’s just plain idiotic to ignore it and keep check on our speech just so we don’t hint at classifying people. In fact, it only strengthens my whole damn point! We care NOT to generalize, and WE get it hard!” Fuming, Robin kicked the cupboard, only to yell out in pain and clutch her sore foot.

“All right.” Akriti sighed. “Tell me all about it. What happened?”

What happened? Nothing! Absolutely nothing happened! I mean, I don’t even know why I am so angry, I really shouldn’t be! I shouldn’t be surprised at all. It’s so commonplace, in fact, that I must be overreacting!” And she kicked the cupboard with her other foot, in oblivious revenge. If she felt the pain, she hid it.

“Robin! Help me a little bit here? WHAT happened?” Akriti was getting impatient. Really, as good a friend Robin was, she was too trying at times. And all because she cared about how things went on. If something was wrong, it troubled her. Sad, how empathy could be such a curse.

“Just- the test. Now answer this if you please.

In a certain language, if yellow is red and red is green, what is the colour of blood?

Clear? What’s your answer?”

“Green, of course.”

“Wrong. Yellow.”

“But that’s inverse-”

“Yeah. But that’s what the teacher says so that’s Law. Now, there is still some logic to it. Ideally, they should write “Yellow is WRITTEN AS red and red is WRITTEN AS green.” That, they cut. Great. And then they expect us to follow the logic that comes to THEIR mind because of course, we are MIND READERS!!!”

Akriti kept silent. She knew only too well how often this happened. Robin let it pass most of the time, but it must mean something this time.

“And by the way, the real answer to that question, those exact lines is Red. They asked the colour of blood, not the colour of blood in that language.”

Akriti was shocked. Suddenly, she burst into laughter.

“Gosh Rob! Did you say that to her? Your teacher?”

“Of course not” Robin grunted in a low voice.

“I lost seven marks. In things like these. My grade changed to the second best. The report card is not perfect.” she finally let it out.

“Ohh. Robin-”

“I know it’s okay! It doesn’t have to be perfect all the time! But when it IS perfect and they just foul it up with their stupidity, then it’s NOT okay!” Robin went back to the anger pitch and Akriti covered her ears again.

“I WISH I WAS A MUSLIM HATER WHO CONSTANTLY CRITICISED THE ARTS AND WANTED TO BE AN ENGINEER JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE WANTED! I WISH I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THE WORLD AND I WAS A RACIST AND I ONLY CARED ABOUT CRICKET MATCHES WHERE I CHEERED LIKE A MONKEY AND I LOVED TO HATE PAKISTAN!”

Akriti shuddered even when it was over.

“I only wish you were softer.”

“Not happening! Because the morons just happen to be the loudest voices ever! EVERYONE listens to them, and their amazingly vulgar comments!”

“I listen to you. Is that any good?”

Akriti thanked the Lords as Robin shut up for a moment.

“Yeah. It is. Actually, it is very very important. God, I really eat your brains don’t I. But it’s your fault really. Why don’t you just let me be the moron?”

“Because you want to be A MORON! Listen to yourself- you want to be an idiot? I would rather have you as you are, though there are times when I wonder if there’s a difference.”

Robin sniggered.

“And now you laugh! You shout all over me and now you laugh!”

“Really, Akriti. WHY do you give me hope? It’s like a disease, like a plague! Hope is! It just has me romanticise with mere visions, that maybe someday I will finally be able to do something against all the things that are wrong. Maybe then I will really be me, and won’t have to lose myself. But nothing happens! I just wind deeper into- into this viscious circle! A circle of hope and disappointment, hoping again and having it shattered!”

“Hey-”

Akriti got serious.

“I can’t let you go like that! You’re my friend-”

“And I care for you.”

She hugged her drama-storm friend.
“And your mom makes delicious pasta.”

 

 

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