So you think you are perfectly innocent while you’re asleep? You are just lying in bed? You sure?
That’s what that guy thought too. But then he went and murdered someone, sleepwalking. Of course, the court ruled him Not Guilty. But really, will you do something like that and not feel guilty?
Nah, I am not trying to scare you. I’m just asking…
Did you find the cat dead in the morning? Did you find the garden rooted out? Did you think it could have been YOU… no thief, no lunatic… just you?
I have the craziest tales to tell about epic somnambulists (that means sleep-walkers. I know the word, want to use it!).
My friend’s granny’s friend was a peculiar one indeed. She used to walk confidently down the house and eat… wait for it… sweaters!
I mean, sweaters? I can understand cake, ice cream, anything. But sweaters? Why? So when you imagine her insides all squirming with wool, you really want to puke.
And there is supposed to be this girl in my school who will sit up in bed in the middle of the night and start laughing all of a sudden? Not someone to watch a night-time scary movie with!
And there’s another girl who, while on a school trip, walked all her way to the cupboard, packed her bags, IN HER SLEEP, and got down to the front door only to be stopped by a teacher. When shaken, and asked to answer, she said, “That’s it. I’m leaving.” Yup, WHILE SLEEPING.
I owe these tales to a friend really. But she got me thinking, what could I do in my sleep? What could my sister do in her sleep? Yikes, am I in danger being in the same room as her? And lookie- we have a tale!
(Written in black and bold on special request by Varun Dabas)
She got up. On the perfect stroke of one, she rose and got out of bed and put on her slippers. I have seen her do the exact same thing yesterday. How did I not know about this, all these years?
I was scared. I don’t really know how it ends. I know she gets up and she goes out, she walks around the dining table… she goes to the window and breathes on it, but what does she do after that?
Do I have a role in her mid-night feats? Is she going to find me sneaking? Is she going to be mad?
No, she won’t. She’s my sister. And if anything goes wrong, I can always wake her up. Right. I have to follow her.
I rushed out to the dining room. She was finishing her circle. I stepped out from behind the curtain, she couldn’t see me right?
But I was noisy, and I stepped on a cardboard box. She turned towards me.
“You found me!” she shrieked. NOT in her voice. Why didn’t she wake up? “YOU have been spying on me, you think you can get me under your control! You have always wanted to keep me down! YOUUU!”
“Woah. Easy now! What did I do? I just wanted… some … water! Mind if I go to the kitchen?”
Why wasn’t anyone else awake? She’s really scaring me. Get up somebody! Mom! Come out and tell us to go to sleep!
“You are LYING! You never let me free. You bring me down! You try to keep me UNDER YOUR CONTROL.”
What? What was she dreaming of? Beauty and the Beast? What did I do to her? Mom has GOT to cut down her TV time.
But I didn’t have time to do anything. She was walking towards me, and for some crazy reason reminding me of Exorcist… Her head was tilted… and when did her hair come out of her plait…. WHY was she grinning.
She reached real close to me, and I could hear her humming above the sound of my heart beating….
And she opened her mouth to show me her little, pointed teeth…
Narrative lost due to transmission errors. Connection with the narrator has been broken. There seems to be temporary error. Narrator not responding at all. Police on their way to check.
Oh, short fax from the narrator: These kind of posts are only temporary. As long as the Half Yearlies go on, that is, till the 27th, please expect only this level of nonsense. Kudos.
So…. what do you think you do in your sleep?