Well, everything does seem to have a Top 10 or Count Down 10, so why not? And there’s a billion things that go on in the mind of a blogger before publishing, and sometimes these are so funny, that maybe now would be the time to tell what goes on in mine. Something like, Behind The Scenes, only it’s Behind The Mundane Screen That Is The Forehead And Inside The Brain. Yeah.
(I do prefer word-numbering than bullets because bullets really leave no space for fun with formatting.)
Okay. Is the title okay? So I am writing about a fictional prince fleeing his fictional palace and needing fictional water. Should I add fiction to the title. Well, I never did, so why now? Bang. Decision One.
Title’s done. So… what was I supposed to write? Oh yeah about that fictional bum fleeing his fictional home and needing a fictional drink. Can I make it fiction? Right. So declare that this is fiction. Bangy-bang-bang. Decision twoooo!
Must I write today? Because I am so tired! What do you expect a poor girl to do now, stretch to the last breath and type a whole long blog post. Here it’s on paper. Someone just type it. Right. Stealthily find someone who will type in exchange for little sacrifices like bribery. Light Bang. Decision, decision!
Okay. Denial never did anybody good. She’s got a point. I don’t have anything left to barter out and get my work done. I have already given her my tatoos, little totems, things I stole from her… nah, she’s not gonna do it today. Okay paper, come here and let’s see what you got for me. Oh and Bang. Grudging decision.
Type. Sindbad the prince… Of course he’s a prince! What kind of name is Sindbad but a prince’s?! Wait. Do not think. Do not create the possibility of thinking out something actually quite brilliant, I can’t have people expecting greatness from me on a regular basis. Stick to the script. Bang. GOOD decision.
Sindbad the prince…
Sindbad had none of those luxuries…
Sindbad reached for a water bottle…
This guy is way too much of an egoist. But what can we say, he’s my character.
So… don’t criticize my own work. Better still, do not think of my own work. I don’t feel like a bang, so just know it’s Decision six.
Oh do finish typing!!! Aren’t there better things in life? Butterflies and poppy fields, rainbows and white ponies… Nah. Typing rules. Only why does it take so LONNNGGGGG? I so got to get that dictator thing that you can out in your ear and dictate to your computer. I so need a smart computer to succumb to that dictating. I so need to finish typing!
Yeah… some bang! Decision, future plans!
P.S. Two minutes in the future is future right? So maybe I should go and find that dictator after all…
Sigh. Finished typing. So the fictional dud is finally fleeing his fictional hub and finally needs some fictional water. Man, must I reread? My viewers must already be used to those horrid errors! But damn this ingrain habit of full spellings and British scheme.
Bang. Decision eight.
Yawn. Why do I love blogging and hate blog-writing? Nah, it’s just the typing. Okay, fun part! Tag and categorize. So what was this all about? Don’t tell me!!! I got to read it again.
Yeah.. so it’s tagged….. prince? fiction? and and sand? I love sand. But do I tag it? Let’s see if it come up in auto-tagging.
BANG! I’m back with good decisions!
Best Number Ever.
Last Number. 🙂
Click it. No you do it Smeagol. No you do it Gollum.
No you do it Ruchika. No you do it… excuse me, what do you think you’re waiting for, my secret nickname? Please.
So… click it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah! We published!!!
Now… who’d gonna be the first to Like?
Well, you better when I return, I typed it all, didn’t I?
You will NOT believe how this blog post has come by. I will try to make you. Because that’s the whole point of writing this blog post… besides ratting out a huge egotistic feeling. Don’t worry, you’re not expected to understand any of that. I’m just making a beginning. Yeah.
There’s this great blog I follow. Of course, I’m not giving you the name, because I’m soon going to be very mean and very unethical. So this is me saving face in some roundabout way.
So this great blog I follow is written by a great guy. Obviously. And remember, great does NOT equal good OR bad, and I can vouch for neither. He’s turned in pretty hilarious posts pretty frequently, and that’s how we like bloggers to be. So, what’s wrong?
I liked his writing so much that I wanted to get to talk to him. Silly me. And on the blogging world, you just send a comment through, that’s how you start. I did that. I did that again. Soon I started enjoying his posts so frequently and was commenting all niceties so frequently, that it was like my own little blogging ritual. Yeah, I made all this happen in what, four months in here.
And then suddenly, very VERY suddenly, one nice bright morning (does anyone else see how it is always morning we get these epiphanic rises?) I realised how dumb I was being. Was I really thinking he was reading every one of those words? ALL those months? And who am I kidding? With the follow-ship he has, he probably doesn’t have time for ANY. He must just Approve everything JLT. (Just Like That)
So this is what I did. And yeah, this is where the blog post really begins. Yeah, after five paragraphs of intro. Didn’t you read my bio?
I had my own little personal revenge. Just like my own little personal ritual of reading devotedly and commenting even more enthusiastically. And it was…
I don’t Like you anymore!
Okay, that didn’t work out pretty well. Because my conscience got in the way and I couldn’t even try to badmouth him, because really, this deep ingrained righteousness JUST KEPT shouting how it was always me, and he really didn’t do anything wrong.
Then there were his AMAZING posts, which is why I fell in love with his blog in the first place.
But what I could do was stop commenting UNTIL absolutely necessary. And controlling the clicks on the Like button too. Trust Facebook to make us devout addicts.
That incorrigible man didn’t learn even then.
He KEPT turning in good posts one after the other, one RIGHT after the other.
I learned how fragile a thing ego is. And discovered the maximum boundaries of stupidity. And I had to undo all the plan making and the revenge scheming and see the full bright picture.
Really, what was I thinking? That was so dumb class. Who am I, talking about rights and laws and society when I couldn’t control one stray mistake?
But. But, but. (Whats is it about mistakes that you commit them over and over again and then see the light BUT when the next chance comes, you jump head in again?)
JUST as I was giving myself The Lecture, he published a post. What timing. And… it was bad. Believe me, his FIRST bad post in hundreds. He should get an award or something, for proving he was in fact human. Not the high-order Bot some of us might have mistaken him to be…
But look at this. Here I was teaching myself ethical behaviour. Here he was giving me the Chance of my Life. What do I do?
What do I do?
I take it. I opened The Page, and went through The Post and scrolled down and down… and further down….
and got to the Like button…
and passed it…
and got to the comments…
and passed it..
and Closed Down the Tab.
No Like. No Comment.
My personal little sweeeeet revenge. (For a crime that was mine, yeah.)
End of story.
Disclaimer: I wish I could say this was all fiction. But here comes that righteous pang again, saying in a Mahatma Gandhi voice- Be honest, be frank… and something about living a lie when you can’t be true to yourself. Oh for crying out loud! Okay, this is TRUE! I did it! Happy? What, cuff me! Take me to prison for feeling evil! You know what, take that blogger man along!
The title is an apology. So is this entire post. Because i really do feel sorry. And double sorry now that you are reading this. Because had no one seen my blog this June, this apology wouldn’t have originated in the first place. But stopping all this rambling, I’ll tell you why I apologise.
It’s difficult maintaining a blog. Why’s that? You got to have a flair for writing, or you could very well be writing in a dead journal, and your blog being nothing but sheer waste of blog addresses. You got to have the time, else the flair is lost, which, is a big big big shame. You got to have an audience, which takes so much strength, patience and drive to collect that you just can’t afford losing it. I know just how hard that one is.
And that is why I am sorry. I am going to have to lose my audience. Disappoint readers in 16 countries (I am not showing-off, huh!)…. Why? Because I have to take a necessary break. Let me tell you a story.
There was once Me. I went to school, played volleyball, worked out, swam, did homework like it or not, helped mom enough to count it here, and WROTE. Happily, relentlessly. I did it everyday, with a blessed break on Sunday when school was removed from the routine. And through all this, there were some loved ones I dreamt of, thought of, imagined, talked to in imagination, tried to catch on phone, tracked on Facebook, collected presents for, counted days till meeting…
So that’s broadly my life story in one para. Only now, it has changed. The people I dreamt of, thought of, imagined, talked to in imagination, tried to catch on phone, tracked on Facebook, collected presents for, counted days till meeting, are finally here. I am, with them. But the catch is, I must break away from this blog for a while.
I am sorry for having to write this post in the first place. I am very very disappointed to have to break my regular writing delight! But I can’t be sorry for being with my dearies, my girls!!! I can’t possibly be sorry for being with the people I love, and hence not getting the time to blog. At the steep cost of the blog, I choose the vacation. I know I might never regain the audience. But I’ll just have to start at the beginning.
Gosh, I just wrote a blog explaining why I couldn’t write a blog. Sometimes, I surprise even myself with my capacity for nonsense. But then I have always been this cutely-erratic girl ( I swear, I am not usually an egotist. 🙂 ) and I do things I just “feel like”.
Had you asked me any other time, specially when my blog was going good and breezy, I would have said such despo attempts- such naive appeals to one’s readers are plainly ‘idiosyncratic’. I believed that till an hour ago! But then I had to accept that it was going to very difficult taking out an hour from my cousins’ dances, games, piggy rides, bed-jumping and eating schedule to write. (Hey, what you laughing at! It IS tough!)
I read somewhere, not long back, how much we apologise when we shouldn’t. A boss doesn’t like our shirt, out spurts a ready sorry. Someone drops THEIR tray, we say sorry just so. Someone forgets to give US the necessary information, and we go ,”Sorry, I didn’t know that.” I think, as I write this post, how stellar an example this blog post is for the same category. But then i think of my way of writing; Say what you feel (minus the dumb jokes, of course.) I felt bad when I saw the viewership shoot down, and I felt the need to apologise, to show that I wasn’t liking the necessary break- I did.
It wasn’t necessary to write about this. I could have let my audience slip away anyway. But again, that’s not how I work …how this blog functions… This blog is an interaction. A NOTICE was naturally on it’s way!
Last, and as the saying rightly goes, BUT NOT THE LEAST- I thank you.
You just read through nine inches, of me saying sorry. I appreciate it. I do.
I swear I will be back with a bang, ASAP. If you came here through Facebook, please look out for my next link. If you came through WordPress, I’ll soon be back in the circles. If you just crawled on, and if you liked my writing, and would like to keep tabs on upcoming blog-posts, I suggest you click that Follow button. Up there, on the right hand side panel.
If you didn’t like my post, please please please…………… write that down in the comments below. I have to thank you for reading.
So, until then, Hasta la Vista!
Since this is my first post on WordPress, or on a blog in fact, I want to start with a flashback motion picture of getting here. No, you don’t have to sit through a lesson of ‘My History’ and I sincerely don’t intend to make it like that, this is just a story! A story of what caused a school-girl to set up a blog and start writing out to the wide world, for no reason, and with no aim.
When you are in tenth grade, no-one reminds you that Fridays call for the special, white uniform, and the excuse “I didn’t remember” is just as if you didn’t speak at all. Because before you realise it, they are calling you sophomores, and you may not be ready to act the part, but you do go around boasting the sheer fact that you’re senior to one more class this year. When half the year has gone by, you’ll realise you might just have boasted about breathing.
So, with a new academic session rolling in, I had new choices to make. No, not those resolutions they force us into at the assemblies, but choices literally, as in what art subject I wanted to opt for and so on. Half of the decisions depend on what I want to do, and the remaining on the number of people who will give company. With that, the focus on friends comes in. Who is doing what and why? And can I join?
So, okay, there’s lots going on, but why blog? And since there is so much ‘on’ already, really, WHY blog?
Because sometimes, in the flurry, I want to be heard, as a girl who’s expressing. Now with so much to control in the first month, I can’t get authorities to relish the change with me, and by the time one’s in senior school, children are already deciding their careers and all, and they just can’t listen to idle discussion in the first week. So, however ardently may I write, I don’t get an audience to share the butterflies! (Not that blogging promises that, but at least I am out and available!)
With my loyal orange-back notebook in my bag, I went to school for two whole weeks and adapted to the early morning rise, after the oh-so-good end-of-term vacation. I kept on writing the first few days, but into the end of the week, we knew it wasn’t too much a rush to not talk, so the notebook slipped back in the bag more often. And people started listening, because we really didn’t care it was tenth, we were still buddies!
Yet, I am writing.
Because I realised you don’t need to be alone to need a blog! You only need to be free enough. I don’t need to have those standing-alone-on-a-New-York-street-while-the-crowd-pushes-away kind of nightmares to want to blog, WordPress would go crazy if it was so!
So, I am blogging, and hope to do regularly, because I want to write out! And I suggest anyone with a comment just drop it down there because, hey, I appreciate it!