change

I Have Decided

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I have decided a course of my future

And linked to it the future of my comrades

There is a foolproof plan

That neither villains nor circumstance can alter

None can dust their sadness on it

None can mold it any less sure

The course is set, the sails spread

And I will soon row away

I have decided where I am to go

I know the the direction like a compass in my head

These are big claims

I know they are hard

But the boat is strong

And I’m aboard, to last

The plan is simple, also challenging

But as long as I tread it verbatim

See, it is plain-

I will change the world

A single sentence is my aim

A single sentence my destiny

That I will change the world

I swear I will work for it

The day is coming to start

I took an oath in moonlit bond

The heavens have heard me all

On my voyage they will prod me to help

The helpless and guide

The stray

The heavens will control the clouds

And rains and give me sunshine

So I row to farthest corners of the realm

So I touch lives and make amends

I have a mission

And it is strong

It’s the hope a hungry woman yearns for in a street somewhere

Its the chance a young man needs to have a life

Its the future of a million kids

As I said, the future of my comrades…

My course was decided in the charts the day I was born

Only now I have realised it

But now I know the significance of a mission

And I have decided

I have decided

I feel so sure, so complete

But what are these voices that rise in my head

Why do they beckon me

Don’t they see my path is wondrous

That it’s a good destiny!

Why do they remind me that change is resisted

Why do they tell me I shall fail

Why can’t they let me try at least

Why do they call me high headed

I have decided

Right?

I have, then why do they sway me!

They come from the limits of my conscious

They tell me what I already know

One man can change one man can make a diference

But one man cannot row the oceans a new blue

I need not lose my life in this

I need to make my life this

That I shall achieve not in a voyage

But a million small treks in my own little town

I know this already

How could I forget

I knew, changing the world, is not a destiny

It’s the imprint of Alexander’s egotist self

One person so vain that they set about changing the world

Is like one person believing the world is in ruins and they are the saviour

I’m glad for my voices

They have bettered my decision

I have decided

I will make change

But to life, not lives

In small ways, not renaissance

So don’t prod me well wishers to change the world

I know you mean well but I have a decision

I’ll help you, you help me

And that shall be our common destiny!

I will time my other pompous zeals

For the day the sun rises in the west

Stitching the tear…

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I have always been great friends with her. Right since she joined my school and after waltzing around the groups, settled in with mine. Ever since she spoke and, as she says, found a connect in my words, and all I remember, we have been friends since then. That is, until now.

We were shuffled into different classes last year. A fair balance if you think about it, two years together, two apart. So I guess it changed last year. I guess the difference in sections and floors brought with it a mist. From cordial talks that required little effort to continue, we have come to “And? …And?….And?” From ecstatic telephone conversations, and endless laughs at meaningless jokes, we have come to cocking eyebrows and stares. From tightly gathered ponytails and run-loving legs we have, sigh, come to gossip too, yes, gossip.

And the comfort in sitting and talking is itching. The easy-ness in sharing is rough. And the excitement in hearing is slowly, and still slowly, breaking into routine. And all the cause behind the change is not un-willingness, not un-eagerness, not new friends…. but time. And the change it has brought in me, and her, and how i painfully seek something from her and can’t ask for it. (What, do I go to her and tell her what to say to me?) In response to the unmerciful awkwardness, I ask, and get asked, if there is something wrong, at home or somewhere, I am dying to blame this atrocious hurt on an external cause.

But it’s nothing I know. Just change. Old, grave change.

And what do I do? What ‘take’ must I adopt? Anger? Hostility? Irritation? Maybe they’ll work with her, the past’s closeness keeping the bond still fast…. but, it’s like a crack in the mirror. So- Ignorance? Outside help? Or the culprit, Time, itself? I don’t really know…

But what about him? He, also my friend? What about this frustration I set off today, in a moment of tension? What with him- Anger? Hostility? Irritation? …..Ignorance? Outside help? Time? ….. or maybe now, the Knife?