internet

Ha-ha and Sniff-Sniff Online

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Posting about laughter has never been this fun before. I think everybody knows by now that the internet gave brilliance a chance to be shown. And here’s an example:

Emma Watson Is Changing

While most people were drooling over this picture of actress Emma Watson and largely discussing how different she now looked from her appearance in the early Harry Potter movies, this one guy was exceptionally creative and forthcoming with his funky mind:

He said, “Now that’s a huge fart.”

I hope Emma sees the funny element of the whole thing and decides not to sue this knight in humorous armour. I for one wouldn’t, but then I don’t see a scenario where I’d be wearing those shorts and a coat on top too. Really, is it summer or winter? For celebs I know it doesn’t matter, their seasons are more like AC or outdoor, but that’s still a not-me combination. 

What surprised me today was the sheer NUMBER of pro-Internet and pro-happy things on Internet posts I saw on Facebook. In fact, I even logged up with a site that does just that! Upworthy posts about significant things, usually poignant things happening worldwide, and thanks to email, I can get instant notifs of such events. Go ahead, join them, they’re at: 

On Facebook; http://www.facebook.com/Upworthy?hc_location=stream

And their site; http://www.upworthy.com/

Since I’ve safely established over the last few posts how awesome the Internet is for me, and how much I appreciate it, this I promise will be my last post about the same. There is no end to how much I can love the things that hit me online, and I find new stuff every minute. Yes, I just found something more. 

Patrick (amazing man) Stewart. Also known as Captain Jean-Luc Pucard in the world of Star Trek. Also known as Professor Charles Xavier in the world of mutants.

But a hero for women, in every world.

Watch this: http://www.upworthy.com/a-brave-fan-asks-patrick-stewart-a-question-he-doesnt-usually-get-and-is-given-a-beautiful-answer

He’s talking to the crowd. He’s asked an unexpected question. No, I’m not going to tell you what it was, I really wish you’d see the video for yourself. And as Upworthy says, after 2.40 he’s going to break your heart a little. 

Okay, I have to reveal! He answered the fan’s question, very candidly, very completely. But then he did something he just didn’t need to. Absolutely out of his character, no compulsion, and that’s what shows the kind of man he is. They were ready for the next question, and suddenly Patrick Stewart asks: My dear, are you all right?

Frankly there’s not much to the question. We throw it around all the time don’t we. How are you? You good? Whatsup? But listen to him say it, see him say it, and it means everything. He’s genuinely interested. He probably might not meet the girl ever again, but it is important enough for him to ASK. I wonder if I ask my relatives that question when they clearly seem in trouble as genuinely as he did. I hope I do!

A word of information: If you feel the urge to support the organisations he mentions, just watch the video with Annotations on, yes those pop ups that are usually for marketing. You’ll find the helplines and websites you need. 

Well,  I am now bedazzled by the power of Internet. It’s brought me some good friends, the best friend. It’s got me enrichment. Made me closer to people around the world, made me understand the world. And as much as critics continue to condemn Internet in my school, I can only pity them that they are that shallow. Internet is not the fault, you are. As I say, you can make a weapon out of a spoon too, so are you going to boycott cutlery next? 

My last word after these last few blog posts: The Internet rocks. 

 

Chao

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Laughing my head off today at life’s frivolities, I mean really laughing, wiping tears too! Yes, I still miss bestie, but been talking about him with some common friends and well, get a load of this:

I asked the common friend, Rico, if he punched people? Somehow he read it a bit longside and said Yeah Pete “punches me all the tym coz I m the 1 alwys around” which is just too funny cause Pete gave me a look (on chat!) when I asked him the same thing earlier. And there’s more, Rico says “i punch back, bounce back and the run away”. Now just imagine these guys, 20 plus them both doing a Tom and Jerry remake in the house. Please tell me you at leaaaast smiled. They are really sweet guys, which you’d probably know if you are lucky enough to talk to them, and don’t tell them I said that, cause I can almost see them say “Sweet? Us? Please girl…”

Yeah they’re like that.

Are you on Facebook? Have you heard the term Grammar Nazis? This part is funny too.. so  courtesy Facebooking and the blatant lack of spell check and autocrrect on most devices, people can post in just about any twisted god-knows-what-they-are spellings on Fb. What’s more, since most of my friends do all the writing of their lives on Fb walls and comments and posts, they speak not Hindi, not English but Facebook. It’s got to be a language already. So much so that anyone, like me, who doesn’t often write Thank You as “Ty” is called irritating sometimes!

Yes, I mean what the hell happened to normal proper English? I still think spellings are sexy, but no offence to those that eat all the vowels, them hungry people. It just takes me what, 10 seconds extra to read what you said? And well, your loss, you don’t know universal abbreviations not me.

Back to Nazis. It’s still okkaaaayyyy if you know your grammar, but if you ever, ever dare commit the heinous crime of correcting someone ELSE on Fb, you’re so dead meat. That’s what gets you the tag, Grammar Nazi.

Hats off to the guy who was creative enough to make that title, but whack the same guy for making it at all. I don’t call you Spelling Hater… or Illiterate Lout… or plain Dumb Jack.

Today, suddenly Rico (yes, the one from above, seriously how many RICO’S would I know!).. Rico typed Chao to me.. and that’s when I just rolled off laughing. I am not arrogant enough to tell him it’s really Ciao, but hell yeah I’m arrogant enough to blog about it. It’s fun really, I probably never said a proper Gudmrning to him either, but Chao sounds so much like a name I almost asked him “Who?” until I realised he was just saying bye.

Oh lord what’s this popping on my newsfeed! A guy just posted this: “I am not cute, pouting is.”

And then my mom asks what I do on the net all day. I laugh mom! If I am out of story ideas i come online. If I am tired of writing or reading I come online. If I feel sick I come online and watch penguins beat the shit out of each other.. yeah, I found a video. YouTube’s got everything. Get this: I am writing about the net on the net, and there’s no one to stop me. How much cooler can it get. Can you imagine the freedom you got being online? Almost takes my breath away, I feel powerful here. That geek guy from Transporter was right, you let your fingers go crazy across the net and you’ll find something really cool. I mean, you are reading this, by the time you’re finished even if you’re pleasantly smiling you can hit a like, send me a message. You’ve never seen me, and here you are listening about what crazy stuff Rico did or who said what to me.

Wait a sec, I have a message…

Guy who posted that cute thing above says, Hello Madame. I can feel the smile spread already. And obviously I ask him what I did to earn that, we don’t talk all that often. And he says, Nothing. I’m just in a good mood today.

Where did simple people go? Because really, all this week, I have only found brilliant minds, those that make me laugh on Facebook. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. People who hate the net, get a life! It’s like hating the roads just because some lunatics drive their cars too fast or hating music just because some music is too loud for you.

Chill out, relax, let the Net impress you. If there ever is a job for Ambassador of the Internet yes I will take it.

And until later…. Chao! *wink*

The Internet Spreads The Love

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My immediate surroundings, especially my school, are an eternally magnanimous critic of everything Internet. Facebook takes half the blow and none of my teachers (though 90% of them are using it, I checked) say one nice word about Mark Zuckerberg’s life’s work. But hearing and hearing and hearing (never listening) to all that monotonic bad-mouthing of the Net and all that I love about this tech-age, it gets frustrating sometimes to even hear more! I wrote articles and articles and gave speeches and more speeches about how Net really isn’t the new Satan my school makes it to be, and some of it, thankfully, worked for a little while.

But here I am today, grinning to myself because my whole entire debate just got made by this jig that happened at Rediff sometime. (Someone said something about someone and someone responded and someone apologised and we’re all in awe.)Thanks Ankur, for showing me this!

Okay people, when you go follow that link, just keep this in mind:

1) Humans love making things black and white. It’s not always like that.

2) Though the article shows in the beginning how the Internet really is malicious, read on. That’s when you transcend from solid colours and mix your own palette. Also, note this: Internet practically gave the entire world their right to freedom of expression. Did we really think expression meant sweet talk? So why do we blame the Net when hate speech, and such negative talk cross the Net.

Anyway, you decide. I think the Net rocks, and the people who love to hate it need to get a life.

So, the link: Click here

And as always, if you got an opinion, hit me with it.

Laughter Panacea

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Like a fool I went and lost the article I was so captivated by, so if any of you know a Shalini Roy who can write, please let me know. I don’t even remember the mail address, to send my heartiest wishes.

Of course, now I can’t tell you about the article much, I was relying on quoting much of it. But here’s one particular favourite she mentioned. Woody Allen I think, said, “I am not an atheist. I am just God’s loyal opposition.” Yeah, it was that good.

To start another paragraph  with of course- Of course I know what the article was ultimately all about. Or I can guess from the name. Laughter Remedy. Laughter Medicine. I have just had a whole entire UNIT in the English Classes dedicated to like topics so I’m perhaps the best person to tell you, in very short, that Laughter, Is The Best Medicine. Got that? Thanks. I can get on.

Medicine
“The blue ones are for Lion Roar Laugh. They help regulate your blood flow. What’s that? You could take Aspirin? Of course not! Laughter is the best medicine!”

There’s different ways to laugh. There certainly are different frequencies to laugh. Someone please tell this to the people who holler-laugh into their cell phones- There ARE lower frequencies, specially for a technically capable cell phone. There are different reasons to laugh, different occasions, different styles too. I personally boast of about 7 versatile laughters. (No, that’s not a word yet.) There’s loads of things I laugh on- books, jokes of course, music, silly dancing, art- yeah I dare, tripping, people…. But that’s what all of you know. Here’s what you could check out. How the INTERNET makes me laugh.

They say anything is available at the Web. So like a good youngster, I often come to the World Wide Web with my worries. And it hasn’t ever disappointed. Here’s why-

Laughter Panacea Source One

WIKIleaks. I checked out the infamous (or was it famous?) site about a year ago, long after the whole hype of it had died down. I remembered how a very good friend had told me she tried to get in so many times but the site was so flooded already it took aggggggeeeeeeeeeessssssss and she eventually gave up. I believed then and believe now, even given my lack in wisdom in these matters, that it was some conspiracy by the governments because Facebook is a pretty similar hotspot and it never shuts anyone off. (Maybe, except me.) So I finally checked the site last year and though everything was packed and gone, I wasn’t disappointed. Though I’m trying desperately, I can’t upload here the html page I saved back then. Here’s what the satisfying piece of the page was. In bold and black, below the hourglass logo, was the motto. Courage is Contagious.Oh yeah! The rut this place created, it sure had to be. But Google faithfully transports me to the site now. Seems I have been in the Stone Age for too long. Dear readers, how did it come back on? PLEASE let me know.

Wkileaks
Couraaaaage Isss Contagioussss! *singing patriotically*

Laughter Panacea Source Two

You’re going to have to be quick with this one.As Google will tell, today is Gustav Klimt’s 15th Birthday. Applause for Google for being such a dedicated wisher even when Wikipedia (the most searched item on Google I bet) will readily PAN it. I am not sure how long this will stay on the Wikipedia page but there is a MAJOR eye-widener in the first line of the Wiki page dedicated to Gustav. (I still don’t know who this guy REALLY is, but I love him all the same.)

If you are too late, like I suspect most of the world will be, here is what the first line was-

Google, the worst search engine, has made a link to Gustav Klimt (July 14, 1862– February 6, 19…

WOW! I don’t know, maybe such open battle is common, but I never expected Wiki to do this. Specially since the time they went offline to protest against PIPA and SOPA. And I did think this was a ground with full-on diplomacy. Got to say, THIS attack is VERY very surprising. If not horrifying. What did Google do to you? Are the people behind who check every article sleeping? Or did YOU guys put this?! Why? What’s happening? TELL me!!!

People, this is one war we will love.

Laughter Panacea Source Three

http://www.visitbritain.com

I didn’t know Britain’s national bird was a pheasant. Oh wait it is not. It’s the European Robin. And even that doesn’t have a place on the official papers. Please tell me I’m getting this all wrong. Because the above mentioned site has a tacky pheasant, which for the record can NOT be there for aesthetic reasons, that says-

Well, hello! You’re looking fabulous today. Come on in and take a good look around!

I really like this find. I really like being told I’m looking fabulous today, even if it comes from a very strange bird picture on a computer screen, who is not even looking at me but at the video beside it and will NOT explain why she commits such flattery because surely, I wouldn’t blush just because it says what it says. No! I’m not blushing! It’s just the heat!

Laughter Panacea Source Three

Facebook. You HAD to see this coming. This is THE place for cartoonists, jokers, I mean joke-makers, witty people and impressible teens. What are you oldies still doing there? Drop hopes of the place being restored to sanity and move to  Twitter or LinkedIn. Or stay and easily let us get to all your secrets. Wise choice.

Anyway, we all know that Facebook can make us laugh, cry, bawl or fly. Here’s some of the best jokes of all time- at least the ones I remembered to store.

“When I was five years old, my mother told me that happiness was the key to life.When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life.”

– John Lennon

“Filled up a gargantuan bowl with chocolate ice-cream and kept it on the bed. Next, absent-mindedly sat on the very bowl. From ice-cream to..well, ass-cream.”

– A person I didn’t ask before quoting so at least I shouldn’t name. He’s a genius.

“You are 15????????????????????????????????! Wow!”

– Chris, Fb buddy. Day-maker. As in, he made my day.

“Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for
better working conditions.. for safety on the streets… for child care, for social welfare… for rape crisis centers, women’s refuges, reforms in the law. If someone says ‘Oh, I’m not a feminist,’ I ask ‘Why? What’s your problem?’


-Dale Splendor

How Will You Die?
Apparently some app on dear Fb. The smart guy, Sarthak, is another very very witty superdude.